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A Chance to expose yourself…

By Patrick Garcia

Last Saturday morning I was having coffee with my pals at Borders  when we got on the subject of the California Governor’s recall.  This may be interesting only to my pals and me but they did insert a very important POV that relates to our VDT. Its the fact that for some reason, politicians are starting to not only make their own laws but abide by the ones they consider relevant to their immediate cause. Example; Exit Senator Dianne Feinstein from the Governor’s race/recall/fiasco/media frenzy- whatever you want to call this event that is in process. The reason? She says that she “doesn’t think that the recall is a proper democratic process”   I thought it was a democratic process that was being conducted according to the law that permits it under the California constitution. What happened? Did we take a vote at Starbucks in San Francisco last Saturday morning and decide that it was no longer constitutional? This sounds familiar—was it the Republicans that said that the discharge petition by Jim Marshall  on HR303 was “not a proper legislative process and therefore they could not sign it”? Now the democrats are using the line for their use. Anything to keep from signing. Interestingly enough when it came time for Lt. Governor Bustamante, a democrat to choose between the party line of not signing and miss this great opportunity to have his boss’s ( G. Davis) job he chose to sign and run. So much for party loyalty. But then again this group of candidates, and I use the word with some reservation, . is not the usual  politico profile. In the race is Arianna Huffington, the post menopausal conservative gadfly from Washington social  writers group. With her of course you get people like  Ann Coulter, the rail thin conservative author ( High Crimes and Misdemeanors, etc) and David Brock (Blinded by the Right) the  self titled ex-conservative that is possibly the most confused dysfunctional  product of a dysfunctional family known to mankind. This guy isn’t only not sure of his sexuality but what planet he is on.. I read his book but lost interest when he continued to use numbers for personal pronouns and related the experience of dancing with Matt Drudge in a gay bar on sunset strip. Add to the mix Larry Flynt and the gal that wants to tax breast implants and you have an ideal gathering where , for the inaugural, they could play bring in the clowns instead of hail to the chief.

So my friend says to me; “Pat- here is your chance to expose yourself and bring attention to your disabled veteran’s tax movement—go join the raucous!”  What an idea!  He had sat there getting soused on latte but his brain was supercharged.

A candidate must have a platform-right? The obvious agenda for talking about HR303 would bring the attention to our cause sufficiently enough. Especially after the public listened to the first few items of information I had on the subject. Beyond that I would need a “hook” as the pro spinners say. My Latte-imbibed friend was good for a flash idea but no James Carville—I’d have to think of a ……wait! Immigration!  Not one of these candidates have expressed a platform on immigration. Everyone knows that that is the nerve ending with all Californians that will get a direct channel to their brain cells.

After two more biscotti and decaf  I had it. This would work- we’d take a note from the North Koreans—we need a DMZ from San Diego to Yuma. A tall fence that has loudspeakers and lights. No illegal aliens could penetrate it. I mean, you don’t hear much these days of pregnant  South Korean women going into North Korea to have their babies do we? It could be guarded by our national guard on one side and Mexican Federals on the other. It could also be a revenue source also-like the DMZ in Korea, we would have tourists snapping Kodak moments. It may rival Disneyland in tax income—whoops, wrong reference—Disneyland doesn’t pay taxes—City or State entertainment to the city of Anaheim. .The fence would be functional and also be right there on the tourist maps along with Sea World.

Good platform I thought. The TV was still showing the scene at Norwalk California. Arnie and Maria had just exited the Registrars office and  Arnie had made his statement to the press. After, that  is,  they picked up the microphone stands that Arianna had knocked over as Arnie and Maria approached to speak. (That one will be a file copy video for Fox to run, re-run every time the subject is Arianna). Maybe not such a bad spin tactic—remember Gerald Ford? The golf balls in the crowd? –the steps? He got a lot of press from those buffoon-like moves. Norwalk was a matter of minutes from our  coffee clutch location but I’d have to hurry.

The crowd was still milling around the Civic Center building (#25) as I came around the corner of the plaza. Great! Even the microphones were still there and the media people were still laughing about the Arianna escapade. I explained to the sheriff’s deputy that was stationed in front of the door to the registrars office my purpose and he opened the door for me to enter. I smiled and thanked him and he smiled back and provided me with my first “Good luck in the race” remark. He knew that one of those people that came through that door this morning might, just might be his boss in a few weeks—he was no dummy. The clerk was even nicer when I approached and asked for the “employment forms for Governor” from her. She smiled and placed the forms in front of me and  added a cheerful “We will need a certified check for $3,500  along with the completed forms.”

What? It takes money to run for office I realized but I hadn’t even had an opportunity to hold a baby or shake hands in the crowd how was I going to provide a $3,500 check?  I looked at the lady and asked “May I make payments to the State on that amount? Perhaps over the next two years while I’m in office?” The clerk’s response was to look over my shoulder at the line behind me and shout -“Next?”

I exited the courthouse and looked at the crowd and wondered how many of them would support a immigration and HR303 ticket. The best I could do as I left the plaza area was one individual who offered me five bucks for my parking spot as I left. My political career was finished. I was toast. I’ll just have to continue my work on the manuscript for the  best-seller-in-process The story of HR 303-The Forbidden Law “ by Patrick Garcia. Maybe Katie or Matt would let me talk about Immigration and HR303 when they interview me on the TODAY show after the book is published.. Second thought, maybe I’d better drop the immigration thing-stick to what I know—veterans concerns.

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